As I was sitting, writing, wrapping my head around our second CT scan experience I received a call from "SickKids". That's what comes up on my phone whenever anyone from the hospital calls. I get somewhere from zero to four calls a day from there depending on where we are in Benjamin's journey. It could be someone confirming an upcoming appointment, someone wanting to go over something to do with one of his medications, someone reminding me that Benjamin has to fast or arrive with a full bladder or something else to prepare for a particular test, or it could be his oncologist with news about his the CT scan he had yesterday.
It was Benjamin's oncologist. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end of line I raced to the top of the basement stairs, fumbled with one hand to unlock the baby gate (even though only David and I are home today, it's a habit keeping it locked), and thumped down the stairs to David's office, waving wildly for him to hang up with whoever he was talking to.
I set my phone down on his desk and put it on speaker. David grabbed my hand as the oncologist spoke. He told us that the radiologist had provided a preliminary report and had written "significant decrease" in relation to Benjamin's cancer.
Our appointment for later this week to receive the full, detailed report has been cancelled and is being rescheduled for the end of next week. Between now and then the three oncologists that specialize in LCH at Sick Kids, as well as the radiologist, will meet to review the scans and determine our next steps.
As of now we don't know if Benjamin will graduate from Induction to Maintenance, the difference being chemo treatments weekly or once every three weeks. We don't know if he'll be green lit to return to school, something he misses terribly and is aching to get back to even though he's become very shy around his friends and teachers who he sees at Ella's pick ups and drop offs.
A friend asked me today how I'm feeling about the news and the truth is I'm feeling a lot. I'm over the moon to hear the words "significant decrease". I'm discouraged that we have a week of waiting ahead as the waiting is an excruciatingly hard part in all of this. I'm thankful that Benjamin and Ella seem to be blissfully unaware that the waiting is so tough on us. I'm grateful that we have an incredible team of healthcare professionals who have years of experience working with LCH patients who are working together to analyze Benjamin's scans and determine the best course of action for his case. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to move from the Induction to Maintenance phase of treatment. I'm anxious for the roller coaster of emotions I know the waiting period entails.
Our plan is to keep busy, to focus our energy into planning some fun family activities and to do our very best to stay positive. Whatever the news, we know we'll do this next step together. We know we've got an unbelievably brave little boy who's fought every step of the way so far with courage and a smile. We know we have an incredible support system lifting us up.
We've got a lot to be grateful for and so many reasons to hope, to stay positive. And that's what we'll try our very best to do because for the next week, it's all we can do.
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