The evening before Benjamin's tenth round of chemo we received a very special delivery: replica 'Benjamin the Brave' capes for David and I to wear on race day for the Sporting Life 10k in support of Campfire Circle. The next morning as we were getting ready to leave for the hospital Benjamin asked David if he would wear his matching cape to the hospital. If you know David and his heart of gold, you know he said yes.
As we walked up from the parking lot, to the COVID screening desk, through the atrium, went up the elevators and down the hall to the cancer centre, Benjamin and David were stopped several times to be complimented on their capes. Benjamin's eyes beamed with pride and replied to everyone with an enthusiastic "Thank you!".
Because round nine hadn't ended well and David and I thought it could possibly have something to do with being called away from the hospital's PlayStation, we were on gaming hiatus for this round. We of course brought Benjamin's tablet but to our surprise, after checking in, he headed over to the toy kitchen and car racing track that's set up in the waiting area. He happily played, engaging David and I in the games he was making up as he went.
There wasn't a hint of a fuss when he was called to the orange pod to have his vitals and measurements taken and when we were shown into that day's exam room Benjamin insisted that David play hide-and-seek. Yes, it was your typical exam room so the only place to hide was to duck down on the opposite side of the exam bed from whoever was counting. This didn't bother Benjamin at all and he and David played over and over until the fellow arrived.
Benjamin's weight was once again just slightly below the previous week's which was to be expected after his gain from being on heavy steroids seven days per week for before tapering off to his current three days per week. We're told it will likely be between two and three months before his weight returns to what it was before beginning treatment. Another positive result was his blood pressure which we were told was "perfect".
While David occupied Benjamin, the fellow and I opened up his bloodwork results from the previous week. His key stats were all below the normal range and so as always, we looked to the secondary stats that indicate whether or not there was reason to be concerned. Thankfully there wasn't.
After a physical examination, we were approved to proceed with chemo and headed back to the waiting area to wait for the medication to be mixed. We were surprised again that Benjamin didn't immediately ask for his tablet. Instead he chose to play in the toy kitchen and with the car ramp.
Out of the corner of his eye he spied the Campfire Circle volunteer setting up for what looked like a craft. His shy phase having faded away, Benjamin headed over to her and introduced himself. The volunteer asked him if he'd like to do a craft and he said that he would. He came back over to where we were sitting and the volunteer followed with the craft supplies. She asked Benjamin explained how to use the special glue to decorate the construction paper bunny ears that had been cut out using a hand as a stencil. She asked him which decorative items he wanted to use and he chose crayons, pom-poms, popsicle sticks and a couple of strips of rhinestones. As she walked away, Benjamin got to work. I love watching him when he's focused as I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind.
The Campfire Circle volunteer came back to check on us and it was then that Benjamin asked her about a button she was wearing that had the face of a golden retriever. If you know Benjamin, you likely know he loves dogs as much, if not more, than I do. She asked him if he'd like to have her button and his eyes got wide and then they narrowed. I could tell his look of surprise had turned to a smile behind his mask. We attached the button to his shoelace and he looked down at it proudly.
Not long after, his name was called over the intercom asking him to head to the IV room. Before each announcement there's a beeping sound and in the past two or three visits I've noticed that he stops dead when the beep goes off as if he's hoping his name won't be what follows. Upon hearing his name he right away began to whimper that he wasn't ready for his butterfly.
David and I took him by the hand, speaking calmly and telling him that the sooner we got to the IV room, the sooner it would be over. We reminded him that we would be going for a treat after he got his chemo. We told him we'd be right there beside him and that he could squeeze our hands as tightly as he'd like.
Once he was laying on the bed and noticed that it was about that time, Benjamin started to lose it. He was screaming, crying and flailing around. For the first time ever it took both David and I to hold him down so that the nurse could insert his butterfly. Moments like these break my heart. I wish with everything I have that I could trade places with him. He's only four years old, why should he be the one going through this?
Immediately after his butterfly was in, it was as if a switch flipped. He asked David to lean over at the head of the bed to play his game with him, it was like the past few minutes had never happened. He seemed totally himself during his blood draw, the administration of his chemo and the flushing of his line. As soon as he caught a whiff that the bandage holding his butterfly in place was about to come off and that his butterfly was about to come out we were right back where we'd started, screaming, crying and flailing.
As soon as the bandage was off and the needle was out, it was as if nothing had happened. Happy, smiling, asking for robot ice cream for a "special treat". We walked out of the Cancer Clinic and with an empty hallway ahead of them, he and David took off running towards the elevators, their capes flying behind them.
Aside from the pre and post treatment mini freak-outs, which are completely understandable if not warranted, with all he's been through, David and I agreed that robot ice cream was a definite yes as our little superhero absolute rocked round ten.
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